You Are Perfect: A Hospice Visit

Our message this month is a simple one.

I wrote it as I sat in the living room of one of my hospice patients this week after I heard something so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.

It really helped me to find a new perspective - and I thought it might be helpful for you too.

Perhaps we can all find a little gentleness in the midst of imperfection.

GLORIA AND JOHN

It’s silent here in the home of one of my hospice patients except for the hum of the air conditioner.

The crooked pictures of Florida birds and dusty floral arrangements are frozen in time; material possessions that have lost their meaning since Gloria slipped away into the distant field of Alzheimer's.

John’s main focus in life is taking care of Gloria.

Over the span of seven years, I have been sitting with Gloria when John, her husband of six decades, has a doctors appointment.

It's the only time he ever leaves her.

Gloria has no words now and her body is peacefully still. 

But her shining round eyes come alive with joy at the sight of him.

Now she is sleeping in a hospital bed in their room. John has gone to his appointment.

I sit here stunned by the beauty of what I just heard.

YOU ARE PERFECT

When I arrived, John asked me if I would keep an eye out for the neighbor who would drive him to his appointment while he fed Gloria a protein drink. 

From my outpost at the front door, I could hear him talking to her in a low, even voice. 

It sounded so loving.

I moved closer to the sound of his voice, still out of their sight.

And I heard his words:

You are perfect. 

You are so good. 

I am so grateful for you. 

You are perfect. 

You are perfect, my love.

She cooed back like a mourning dove.

Tears welled in my eyes. 

His beloved wife, now eighty pounds of wordless smiles - bedridden and still - was perfect.

Just as she was.

Not as she used to be or as she could be.

As she was.

He was grateful for the very moment he was in.

Exhaustion and all.

And his gratitude made the seemingly imperfect moment, perfect.

GRATITUDE FOR WHAT IS

I needed that story. 

Maybe you do too.

Through the eyes of gratitude, everything is a miracle.

Through the eyes of our humanity, everything seems broken and imperfect.

But maybe today we can be reminded by Gloria and John to see through sacred eyes.

Maybe we can see someone close to us as perfect, just as they are. 

And be grateful.

Maybe we can see ourselves as perfect, just as we are. 

And be grateful.

Maybe we can find a little hope growing through the cracks in our hearts.

And give thanks.

Exhaustion and all, maybe we can find a little miracle in the midst of imperfection.

MY BIGGEST GRATITUDE

In this time of transition and challenge, my biggest gratitude is for you - for the honor of learning and sharing these lessons - and walking the road of this spiritual journey with you.

You are amazing.

You are perfect.

You are so good.

And I'm thankful for you.

Love and blessings, 

Mary xo 

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